Unmasked

15 May

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

Earlier this year, I recapped The Americans, the FX television show, for Project Fandom. Fun little side project. A big through line this season was identity. How we see ourselves, how we portray ourselves to others, how others see us. With this theme percolating in the back of my mind, I began seeing it everywhere. Other television shows, movies, books, life. Just the other day someone asked me to think about my core values. “What makes you, you?”

I was a bit stymied by this. I can tell you my ethnicity and how as I was raised. I can list personality traits. I can explain the what and why of my beliefs. I can go on and on about my passions, hopes and dreams. But are any of these things who I really am? Does my being equal the sum of its parts? It’s an existential question that…

View original 296 more words

Come closer

2 May

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

We are built to love. No wonder our hearts are located where they are. Air flows into our lungs and through us with our breath and such is the nature of love. We feel the opening love brings. When we give to another person. When we see a child playing. When we delight in the world around us. It feels free and expansive.

Intimacy. Another issue, entirely.

Intimacy lies low in our torso, in our gut. It is water to love’s air. It’s heavier. There is more substance, more weight. This is where relationships — to our parents, spouses, children, and friends — reside. It’s also the seat of vulnerability. As animals, we protect our soft bellies. We are cautious who we let close to us, and once held close, we are loath to let them go.

What lies between these two is our ego. Our ego can be a…

View original 444 more words

I Shouldn’t Need to

28 Feb

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

It has been a crazy month. A frenetic energy has filled my days. A lot of it has been fun, but I’ve found myself with very little down time. Very little time to catch a yoga class or a dance class or write. Actually, scratch that. I have had time. I haven’t had the energy. Yesterday was a perfect example. I worked from home and had every intention of going to a yoga class with my favorite teacher. But it was cold, it was rainy, there was traffic. My week had been full of and my sleep had been little. I had the time, but my energy was low. It sapped my motivation to leave my cozy, warm house and venture out. Even if what was waiting at the other end was some loving, nurturing people and groovy movement.

It’s important to push yourself. It’s good to have goals and…

View original 374 more words

In the Drink

31 Jan

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

Let’s make some tea. Let’s pour some wine. Tell me about your day and I’ll tell you about mine. Share your deepest secrets and I’ll confess my sins. We will weave stories like vines around our great loves and our broken hearts.

I know there’s fear in staying. I know there’s fear in spending time. I’ll take the lead, if you care to follow.

Ask me a question. Any will do. I will answer from my heart. I will show you my truth. A piece of my soul. It’s here if you want it. It’s here if you care to see. Just look. Look beyond the armor of ego which cloaks me. I am naked and beautiful and proud under these scars.

I will sit as I am. As bare as I am. Close enough for you to touch. To see I am real. I will sit as long as…

View original 127 more words

Don’t have what I’m having

24 Jan

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

People have always been interested in what I eat. When I was a kid, it was with wonder. How could this skinny, ever-hungry child eat so much junk and in such large quantities. During my eating disorder years, it was with concern. How could this girl eat bizarre, tasteless food in such small quantities? After I got my degree in Dietetics it was with admiration. How could this young lady eat healthy foods with such control? Nowadays, it’s with curiosity. How could this woman eat as so specifically with such relish? I relate it eating for my id to eating for my overactive super-ego to eating for my ego to (finally) eating for my body.

Eating for my body isn’t easy. My gut is sensitive. It’s genetic. We used to roll our eyes when 84-lb grandmother would say her stomach was “out to here” after eating.  But, in my early…

View original 491 more words

Story Points

10 Jan

Desi Girl:

On writing….

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

Someone asked me why I write. I immediately responded with “I need to.” This answer feels true to me, regardless of what it is I’m writing.

OnceUponATimeI was a prolific writer as a kid. I had notebooks upon notebooks of stories. Most were unfinished. Most had terrible spelling errors. Most had nothing to do with reality. But I never thought or judged or stopped. I just wrote. My wild imagination spilled out on paper and I was sated.

Then my brother had his breakdown and my world changed. My world went from greatly fantastical to narrowly practical. I didn’t see the use or purpose in writing anymore. It’s not like I wanted to be published. I couldn’t get published even if I wanted to. I mean, I couldn’t even get myself together enough to finish one idea. What was the point? If there was no point, why bother?

So, I…

View original 377 more words

New Tribal Beginnings

3 Jan

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I don’t make resolutions but I do have yearly themes. This year has a few for me. Chief among them: Growing My Tribe.

I moved to Austin little over a year ago. It wasn’t the easiest of journeys. I moved here not knowing a soul but was lucky enough to meet some incredible people. I had an easily accessible group of friends I could count on and talk to in just a few months. I remember going home to DC for Christmas in 2013, feeling so grateful for that. Many great things happened in 2014. I completed my yoga teacher training and learned a lot about myself in the process, found a great job that fits me so much better than the last and continued to meet great people. Life transitions. My job had me getting up at an ungodly hour and traveling to San Antonio several days a week…

View original 627 more words

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 57 other followers