Far too long I’ve crouched down
Far too long I’ve exposed a long elegant side at a time
You’re so funny. So smart. So insightful. So pretty. So graceful. So strong. So kind.
Yes. Yes I am all of these things. Come closer.
You know my flaws. I’ve glistened and polished each one before presenting it on a gilded platter.
You’re quirky. You’re eccentric. You’re delightfully weird.
Oh yes. How nice of you to accept my differences. How wonderful you love me, anyway. Come closer still.
Front row is open. Have a seat.
Let me stand up, now. Let me arise and let the sheet fall undignified my feet.
These feet with unpolished toes and dry heels. Try not to recoil.
I’m tired. So tired.
I’m grouchy, bitchy, annoyed and irritable.
I am cruel and cold and absolutely fucking disgusted.
I am insecure and I am sensitive. I want to crawl back into my mother’s womb. This world is so harsh.
Here are my bruises. Here are my wrinkles and folds and pounds of flesh.
My scars run deep and thick. Some are dark, faded and brown. Others red puffy welts.
My disfigurements run their way over and through me. Too many to count.
But they are witness to my endurance. To what has healed and what is on the mend
It’s my fault, but here is all of it.
The parts that love. The parts that hate. The parts that just don’t care.
The parts that are small and vulnerable. The parts that roar.
This beauty shoved up against this ugly.
Every inch forms the sinew of who I am. Every inch is my truth.
I am spread eagled before you. Feast your eyes. Laugh. Shudder. Turn away. But if you stay. If you look up. Our eyes will meet. I’ll hold your gaze.
So that’s all of it. It’s my fault.
For hiding my unpalatable power. My unpredictable wild.
I’d say I’m sorry.
But there are no more lies.