Horror vacui

10 Apr

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

Nature abhors a vacuum. So do humans. When we have a hole in our lives, we seek to fill it. What we choose to stuff it with may not even fit, but we cram it in anyway. Hoping it does the trick even as we know in our hearts it won’t. This keeps us in relationships that do not serve us, jobs vaccuum that drain us dry and commitments that suck our energy. We just do not like to experience the emptiness.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling to have a perceived void in our lives. We don’t have a job. We don’t have a partner. We are convinced something is wrong with us. And because we can only control a small part of our lives, we may feel helpless to fill these gaping chasms. So we turn to substance abuse, be it alcohol, food, drugs or other people. We will do anything…

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23 Mar

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I’ve been thinking a lot about death, lately. Not Death, but the many endings that mark our lives.

Good-kaliIn Hindu mythology, Kali is a dark-skinned goddess often depicted with her tongue sticking out and a garland of skulls around her neck. Daring anyone to take her on. In her multiple hands, she carries a variety of weapons and a bloody human head. One foot is planted on supine male form. Intimidating and fearless, Kali isn’t a goddess we think to worship. The uninitiated may associate her with evil, based on looks alone. She is far from evil. She is the goddess of time. Of destruction. Of conclusion.

Endings are necessary and inevitable. They are the hardest parts of life for us to deal with. We worry of endings to come and we mourn when they pass. We may welcome and pray for them, but this doesn’t make it easy.  We…

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Life Less Planned

5 Mar

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
–E. M. Forster

This has been my email signature for the past ten years. I usually never pay attention to it, but every few years or so, it catches my eye and I think “yes.” It caught my eye today. If I look at my life over those ten years, I can’t say I have too many regrets. Yes, there are things I wish I had done, words I wish I hadn’t said, but for the most part those ten years have made me into the person I am today. A quite flawed, rather moody, somewhat insecure individual. But if you could see where I came from, you’d be impressed.

But seriously (though I wasn’t really joking), I believe every step we take in life shapes…

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To Thine Ownself…

25 Feb

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I started Yoga Teacher Training at Say Om Yoga last month and it has been amazing. But not easy.

I project a fair amount of confidence in social situations. I usually have no problem approaching people and talking to them. I’m pretty good at keeping a conversation going and putting people at ease.

Notice the words “fair amount”, “usually” and “pretty good.”

This is to say, I am not great.

I’m not great at it because it doesn’t come naturally. At heart, I’m an introvert with a dollop of insecurity on top. This insecurity has waned as I’ve learned to work with it and have grown from experience but like many things instilled in us from a young age, it lingers on.  So, I often push myself into what feels awkward and come off convincing most people I’m a bubbly extrovert.

This isn’t a lie. There is a bubbly extroverted…

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Fill-in-the-Blank New Year

5 Jan

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

It was the first day of the new year and I woke up groggy and not wanting to move. Whatever had possessed me to set an alarm? Oh right. Yoga. Earlier in the week, I had thought the notion of doing yoga on New Year’s day a beautiful way to start off 2014. Knowing my penchant for sleeping in and backing out, I had gone ahead and signed myself up for a class. This would be a good thing, I had thought. Fast forward to this morning and I hated myself a little. But, as my alarm and the dog bouncing around by the side of my bed announced, it was time to get up.

I groused and grumbled my way through my morning routine. Shower. Dog attendance. Tea. My body hurt in odd places. No, not from anything exciting the night before. Just from not sleeping very much. Man…

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Facing the Fear

3 Jan

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I met a sailor a few months ago. I asked him if sailing ever proved dangerous. After a thoughtful pause, he answered “Yes. But often the danger isn’t the most challenging part.”

A couple of weeks prior, he was racing at high speeds and found his boat drifting uncomfortably close to jagged rocks along the shoreline. He had one choice. To steer headlong towards the hazard. This counterintuitive approach was the only sure way to eventually navigate his craft safely away from the danger. Although he had pulled this maneuver several times before, it always proved to be exceedingly hard. Not physically, but mentally. “Looking directly at what threatens you and driving straight for it never stops feeling ludicrous. It goes against instinct. You just have to trust you know what you’re doing.”

How true this is of fear. Often, I don’t even realize what the actual fear is. I…

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Fear Itself

18 Dec

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

It’s amazing how much of our lives we spend dealing with fear. There are people who live their whole lives in its grip, blinded to its hold. Fear becomes an integral part of their identity. They feed off it as it feeds off them. Some hide behind people and addictions so they don’t feel it. Like ignoring it will deny its existence. Others of us have a little more clarity. But we get caught up in it. Or we (try to) run away from it. We chastise ourselves and others for feeling it. Our society and ad slogans urge us to get rid of it.

It’s no secret why this is. Fear is black, sticky, and consuming. Fear is unpleasant. But we all have it. It’s a normal part of life. And, to be honest, fear serves an evolutionary purpose. It can save our lives. It only becomes a problem…

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