Just One

27 Jul

Desi Girl:

I had a few friends get into new relationships, lately. Get into new relationships when they are just barely out of (or still “technically” in) old ones. This happens. You meet the love of your life while still tethered to a situation that wasn’t working. But in these cases, the people stayed in their existing relationship until they found a replacement. And when they did, they effortlessly slid from one coupling into another. It’s pretty common practice to do this with jobs, where people literally can’t afford to be without one. But relationships are another thing. As adults, we can in most cases, survive without a romantic partner. We may not like it. We may feel lonely. We may struggle. But we can live. So why do people cling to relationships that aren’t working? Why do we fear being single? Do we really want to spend our lives fixated on that which we don’t have?

This isn’t to dismiss the desire to have a romantic partner and/or a family…it is a very real pain. I feel it in my own life. But can we accept that pain and see the truth? That it is truly possible to thrive, revel and fully enjoy life while being without. That there is so much love in our hearts and in our lives if we choose to recognize and embrace it. Love that isn’t the sole responsibility or focus of just one person.

This goes beyond relationships. There are plenty of partnered people who are also grasping. It may start with a very instinctual need — or love, companionship, family – but morphs into something that can control us. It taps into our need for security. Having something outside ourselves to focus our energy on. If I can just get this. If I can just do that. Something to cling to. Something to save us from ourselves. Attainment won’t quench the thirst, but the seeking can blind us. To what we already have. The small everyday pieces of our lives that deserve deep gratitude and appreciation. The sunlight, the joy.

There is nothing really wrong with any of us. We have challenges. Some great, some small, but we are all deserving of love and acceptance. Especially, our own.

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I had a few friends get into new relationships, lately. Get into new relationships when they are just barely out (or still “technically”) in old ones. This happens. I know quite a few people who met the love of their life while they were tethered to a situation that wasn’t working. What’s concerning is the sense I get that in least two of these instances the person was staying in their existing relationship until they found a replacement. And when they did, they effortlessly slid from one coupling into another. It’s pretty common practice to do this with jobs, where people literally can’t afford to be without one. But matters of the heart are another thing, altogether. As adults, we can, in most cases, survive without a romantic partner. We may not like it. We may feel lonely. We may struggle. So why do people cling to relationships that aren’t…

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Story Time

12 Jul

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I often have a hard time with reality. As a child, people called it an “overactive imagination.” I would see magic and intrigue in the most mundane of household objects. I secretly hoped I was adopted because it meant there was a possibility my real parents were sorcerers. I wanted my parents to send me to boarding school so I could have adventures with other kids. Find secret rooms and caves. Stumble upon a world unseen by adults. I firmly believed I would learn to fly at some point. This mind of mine also kept me up at night. In the shadows of my room, lurked the creepy and crawly. Ghosts were outside my window, just waiting for me to close my eyes. I won’t embarrass myself by telling you at what late age I stopped sneaking into my parents’ bedroom so I wouldn’t be alone.

As I grew up…

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Not So Great Expectations

6 Jul

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I’ve been feeling a little stuck, a little frustrated, a little claustrophobic. Most of these feelings have to do with the feeling that my life is in the hands of other people. People who make plans then change them. People who fail to get back to me. People who get busy, get involved, get jobs in other cities. People who make decisions without consulting me. Basically, people being people living their lives and not mine. But my life is affected.

I may have felt this way, but I, sigh, know better. I know that having a large control over one’s life is and illusion. We may expect to sit in the sun with our morning coffee. Then it rains. We may believe we will make our 10am meeting. Then the bus is late. The dog/child/significant other gets sick. We may be absolutely convinced that there is no one out there…

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Just (not) perfect

2 Jul

Faith

29 Jun

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

My heart beats

My heart seeks

My heart leaps

My heart sings

My heart soars

It soars.

My heart wakes

My heart aches

My heart clenches

My heart closes

My heart falls

It falls.

Into the dirt

Into the garbage

Into the forgotten

It is forgotten

I have forgotten

But my heart does not forget

May I remember

And may I feel

So it may beat

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Imperfect Practice

22 Jun

Desi Girl:

From my other blog. Namaste Sunday.

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I’m out of practice.

The culmination of my yoga teacher training coincided with the start of my new job. I went from practicing nearly every day to trying to squeak in an hour or two over the weekend. At first, I gave myself a break. I, a person whose old job supported going to bed at 3am and waking up at 10, had gotten into worse habits in the several months between jobs. It was not uncommon for me walk my dog at 4am so she’d let me sleep until noon. So, I had a lot of adjusting to do to get myself up at 6:30am. I was also commuting an hour each way. Thank goodness for the company shuttle…to have me driving in the morning was an endangerment to everyone on the road, as well as any nearby trees. Then it was the job itself. Working from home for…

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Father’s Day

15 Jun

Desi Girl:

Happy Father’s Day, dad!

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

No surprise to people who have read my previous posts that I’m very close to mine. I’m him especially today as instead of being across the country, he’s half way across the world.

My father is the oldest of seven. There were five sisters and almost two decades between he and his brother. His father was rarely around and his mother, when she wasn’t pregnant, was constantly catering to the seemingly endless number of relatives. So my dad and the eldest sister raised most of the others. She made sure they went to school and he set his sights on providing for them, financially. My maternal grandmother warned my mother that to marry my father was to take on the responsibility of his family (happily, she still agreed). Shortly after he married my mom, my dad’s father passed away, truly making him the head of his family. He helped many…

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