Supermom

4 Oct

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

A friend asked a question on Facebook “Who is your favorite female superhero?” My response “My mother. But she paid me to write that.” Slightly cheeky, but also true (the first part…my mother has yet to monetarily compensate me for a mention in any public forum). My mom is, indeed, a superhero.

Like most superheroes, she never asked to be one. She faced head on the grief and guilt of losing both her parents at a relatively young age while raising her family on the other side of the world. She single-handedly dealt with some of her son’s worst schizophrenic delusions. Cradling him while he cried helplessly for hours. Talking him away from a second story window. Taking him back to the hospital. She did her best to shield her 13-year-old daughter from the brunt of it, so the girl could try to acclimate to a new school and live…

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Hope Fully

20 Sep

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

What word comes up when you think of your heart? This was a question asked in my Yin Yoga intensive, last night. Blossoming, love, courage, strength . Fear, vulnerability, ache, falling. Hope. Hope was the word my mind zoomed in on. And right behind it came a feeling of sadness.

I have a hard time with hope.

I’ve always had a wild imagination. Creating possibilities and worlds in my head comes easily and frequently. Fantasyland. When I was young, I had a hard time seeing the world for what it was (I still often do). My mind would rather spin a story. Back then it often ended with “happily ever after.” I was a brown, skinny kid with two ponytails and glasses. I thought I was a Disney princess. I’d escape into books and beg my parents to send me to a boarding school so I could have adventures like…

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Rain, rain, stay today

13 Sep

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

It’s a rainy day. A rare thing in Austin and not an unwelcome one. Our lakes desperately need the precipitation and I need the downtime. I need

the barometric pressure to weigh me down and fog my mind. I need the chill in the air and slush on the streets to convince me to stay in. I need

dailypayne.com

credit: dailypayne.com

the sound of rain on the roof and water through gutters to soothe my nervous system and lull me into inertia. Not every day, not all the time, but on occasion. The rain reminds me that I need rest.

I was a little late getting to my kick-butt yoga class today due to the rain and when I arrived, the door was firmly closed. Class was in session. I was more than a little annoyed that I missed my awesome bit of Saturday intensity but as I segued into an…

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Achey, breaky, open heart

6 Sep

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

There is not much that compares with having your heart open. Falling in love. Children, animals or family. Yoga. Meditation. When we are present in our bodies and surrounded by beauty it is easy to live in this place of blossoming. A tree with roots deep in the ground, we feel stable. From this stability, we are able to reach up and out, shining our hearts up to the sun.

But what happens when we feel hurt? When we are scared? When life plucks us up from where we stand and tosses us carelessly aside? Every instinct in our beings begs us to curl and tuck and protect our core. We want to stay hidden and protected. We want to lash out. We want to do everything except be open. Not that. That is too painful. Too dangerous.

Our ego may instantly construct thoughts and stories to protect us. Tell…

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Fall, Fall, Fall Again

30 Aug

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

After learning to walk, most kids make awkward attempts to run and fall. They pick themselves up, try again, fall again. Not me. I didn’t want to fall. My mother tells me that I’d be very careful to always have a wall, a chair, a pant leg nearby. Something to lean against in case I started to wobble. This was the story of my life for a long time. I didn’t want to try basketball until I was good at basketball. So I never played basketball. I thought I didn’t have a very good voice, so just didn’t sing. I had lots of great ideas that I never wanted to execute, lest something go awry. My life is littered with projects and disciplines that I abandoned just before I thought they might turn for the worse. Not everything of course, but enough of it to notice a pattern.

Yoga has…

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I think therefore I am

24 Aug

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

I went to a small fundraiser yesterday, in support of the Asian Film Festival held this fall in Austin. It was a family friendly event held in the backyard of Zhi Tea. There was a food truck, donated Indian clothes sale, dance class, henna station and fortune telling tent. It was nearing the end of the event when three of us walked over to this last, interested (and amused) to hear what they had to tell us about our past and future lives.

I was told I was going to live a long life. Longer than my friends, we were bluntly told. I would be pretty steady in my career and had a tendency towards the analytical. She also said I protected my heart and I was often questioned my true feelings. Since my fate and life line didn’t have much overlap, I was greatly in charge of what…

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Pati

23 Aug

Desi Girl:

For my grandmother

Originally posted on Follow Your Bliss Austin:

A year ago today, my grandmother passed away. She was my last grandparent and the only one I really knew. She wasn’t an easy lady. Regimented and extremely particular and fastidious. She was also quite religious and that came with a set of rituals I just didn’t understand. My grandmother’s ways were inconvenient to anyone she lived with, and she lived with my family for quite a time. For a woman who never seemed to feel well, she was incredibly stubborn and headstrong.

Growing up, I was always at odds with her. Respect and language barriers prevented me from ever disagreeing with her directly, but my parents heard a lot about it. I was absolutely affronted that my cousin stopped seeing a guy because my grandmother informed her that their stars weren’t aligned. Seriously? (NOTE: A few years later this cousin did marry a man who is now a multi-millionaire)…

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